“I’m having volunteers gift presents to children stranded on the border. I’m far away from my home in Hell, as well. Human

suffering is one thing I, as your president, just can not tolerate. I want peace and tranquility and opportunity, for my fellow man.”

“Kim is sending me a Christmas gift. Maybe it’s a present where he sends me a beautiful vase, as opposed to, a missile test,” The Don said of Kim.

I may get a vase. I may get a nice present from him. One never really knows what one’s getting from The Kim.”

“We must strive to foster a culture of deeper understanding and respect; traits that exemplify the teachings of Christ. On Christmas,

forgive my trespasses as I forgive trespasses, against me. Do this, my fellow Americans in memory of me … on Christmas.”